by Rebecca Hodson
When I was about 8 years old, in my hometown where summers seemed endless and possibilities even more so, I stumbled upon what I was certain was a stroke of entrepreneurial genius.
The ingredients? A hefty supply of sand—plentiful thanks to my stepfather’s construction work—and some brightly colored chalk. I spent countless hours diligently rubbing that chalk into the sand until it took on the vibrant hues of a Technicolor dream, then carefully poured it into glass vases that I bought with my allowance from a local junk emporium. Each vase was, in my youthful estimation, a masterpiece. With overflowing optimism, I decided to turn these beauties into a lucrative business venture. I went door to door, offering my colorful sandscapes to the neighbors for $5 each – a steal! As you are reading this and I’m writing it, we both know my neighbors didn’t purchase these sand-filled vases because they had a burning desire to own them. No, they bought them because I was a plucky young entrepreneur with a dream. I have no doubt that these ‘masterpieces’ found their final resting place in the trash shortly after I skipped away. The harsh truth was, I wasn’t offering something they genuinely wanted. I didn’t even bother to ask if they had a need or desire for a vase filled with colored sand.
Fast forward a few decades, and no, I didn’t end up helming a sandscape empire. Instead, I found myself in the delightful world of development, where I learned (and am still learning) the fine art of listening—truly listening—to what people care about, what moves them, and what they envision as their legacy. I’m not in the business of persuading anyone to part with their hard-earned money out of mere sympathy or obligation. My role is to grasp their vision, understand their passions, and discern whether these align with the mission of the organization I represent.
As G.K. Chesterton wisely put it, ‘There’s a lot of difference between listening and hearing.’ It’s not enough to nod along and wait for your turn to speak. You must truly hear what’s being said, feel the weight of it, and respond in kind. My role isn’t to cajole someone into writing a check but to offer them an opportunity to do something good, something meaningful that will echo through generations.
Three simple rules of listening:
- Be Quiet: Listening starts with being quiet—not just in your words, but in your mind. You must quiet that inner chatter and truly focus on the other person. Only then can their words reach you fully.
- Seek to Understand, Not to Win: The goal of listening isn’t to prepare your next argument but to genuinely understand the other person’s point of view. Set aside your own thoughts and really absorb what they’re saying.
- Deep Listening: Listening well means going beyond the surface. Try to grasp what drives the other person—their passions, life experience, fears, and motivations. It’s about seeing the world through their eyes.
Listening isn’t something you pick up in a classroom. It takes hours, days, and years of real-world practice—much like the meticulous, if slightly misguided, time and effort I spent rubbing sand with chalk. The difference is, with listening, the end result is actually worth keeping.
